


All I need in this life of sin is me and my girlfriend

by lesbianbean



Series: Rachel and Lisa Escape to Canada AU [1]
Category: House of Cards (US TV)
Genre: AU, F/F, Motels, Road Trip, Stop killing lesbians, Women Being Awesome, also they get a dog, escaping a stalker, some catholic stuff, why didn't these angels get a happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 01:04:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7737043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianbean/pseuds/lesbianbean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel and Lisa are not going to let anything tear them apart. Not when they've found something worth fighting for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let's go on a road trip

**Author's Note:**

> So Rachel and Lisa broke my heart. And what do I do when my heart is broken? I write about it. Enjoy a road trip about two ladies actually getting the fuck away from a stalker.

Lisa had just gotten to sleep when a loud pounding on her door startled her back into awareness.  


“Lisa. Oh, thank God. You’re here.”  


Rachel was shaking violently, her dark hair a tangled mess and her eyes wild. Lisa could see the purple finger marks around her throat.  


“He said...I thought...I thought he was going to hurt you. He’s chasing me, he won’t stop.”  


Lisa had pulled Rachel through her door and wrapped her arms around her as she fell to the floor.  


“Shhh. Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay. I’m here.”  
Rachel told Lisa about Doug Stamper and Peter Russo and the Vice President through sobs.  


“We should call the police.”  


“No! Lisa, you don’t understand. He’ll kill me. He’ll kill you before he lets the story get out. What proof do we have? Who would believe us? I can’t see you anymore. If something happened to you--”  


Rachel pressed her hands over her face.  


“I’m going to run. If I just drive for long enough, maybe I can get to California, and change my name, and he won't be able to find me.”  


Lisa helped Rachel to her feet and into a chair.  


“I’ll go with you.”  


“No. You don’t know what he’s capable of. Just forget me, Lisa. Please.”  


“What do I have here? A crappy job, a few friends. You make me feel like there’s more to life than just living. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t care how bad it gets.”  


Rachel had glanced out the window.  


“He’s not here yet. He said he’d pick me up. We don’t have much time”  


“I’ll pack us a bag. Can you lock my windows and close the blinds? It’ll make it harder for him to get in when he gets here. And here--get rid of my phone. Yours too. ”  


Lisa dressed rapidly and threw clothes into her backpack. A pair of jeans. A jacket. A shirt. She grabbed her songbook and rosary too, although she knew they’d take up space. What else? Cash. They needed cash.  


“Rachel?”  


“I’m here.”  
“Do you see the big encyclopedia on the bookshelf under the TV?”  


Lisa heard some shuffling in the next room, followed by a small noise of triumph.  


“Got it.”  


“Okay, open it up, and grab what’s in it. See if you can find a purse to put it in.”  


A few minutes later, Lisa zipped her backpack and met Rachel in her apartment’s tiny foyer.  


“We have to go.”  


“Are you sure you want to do this?”  


“Yes. I have a plan for where we can stay. It’s far away from here.”  


“I don’t care if it’s on the moon.”  


Lisa gave her apartment a quick backward glance as they rushed out the door. She wouldn't miss it. It had never been home to her like the apartment she'd shared with Rachel was. Before Rachel had thrown her out. The memory of her words still stung, even though she knew now that Rachel hadn't meant them. She'd always suspected...no. She wouldn't think that. Not now.  
They drove for about two hours, quietly talking about church and listening to the radio. Rachel kept glancing over her shoulder, but no car stayed on their trail for more than an unusual amount of time. As they crossed over the New Jersey border, Rachel put a hand over Lisa’s.  


“Let’s stop and get some food. I’ll drive for a bit, if you tell me where we’re going.”  


Lisa forced back a yawn and put on her turn signal, parking in a busy-looking rest stop.  


“What do you want?”  


“Pancakes. And coffee.”  


They ate in a crowded diner, surrounded by exhausted truckers and excited families heading on vacation. Lisa ordered while Rachel withdrew cash from the rest stop ATM.  


“Okay,” Rachel sighed as she sat down. “I got us some cash. Between this and your encyclopedia money, we should be good for a few motel stays and some gas tank refills. How far are we going to be driving?”  


Lisa licked some whipped cream off her fork.  


“I was thinking...Canada. Montreal. My sister lives there and she’ll let us crash for a few days in her dorm. It's a big city. We could get jobs pretty easily. Share an apartment.”  


Rachel slid her hand into Lisa’s.  


“That sounds perfect. Lisa?”  


“Yes?”  


“Thank you. ”


	2. The Days Inn Concord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thank you to everyone who left kudos and reviews! This is a big chapter, and I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope you have fun reading it.  
> Trigger warning for implied abuse and stalking.

They had just crossed the New Hampshire border when Lisa suggested a motel.  


“We could both use some sleep. Real sleep, not just car sleep.”  


Rachel gave Lisa a worried look. “He’s probably already tracking us. I don’t want to slow down.”  


Lisa nodded. “I understand, but neither of us have slept in nearly two days. Your hands are shaking, and we both need a good shower. Let's stop in a town near Concord and get a room for the night. We can watch crappy TV, order a pizza, share a shower...and we’ll be over the border tomorrow.”  


Rachel nodded, although her eyebrows remained furrowed. “Okay.”  


A few minutes later, she turned down the classical music station that they had been listening to.  


“Lisa, I think we need to really make this a cliche and get disguises.”  


“What do you mean, Rach?”  


“I was thinking about how Doug kept finding me. What if we go by a speed camera and it snaps a picture? Or someone takes a photo and we’re in it by accident and it gets online? He’s really good at his job, Lisa. If he even gets a hint to where we are, he’ll find us.”  


“You’re right. How can we get good disguises? We’ve still got enough cash for a night in a motel and a few more meals, but I doubt we can afford a shopping spree.”  


“Hey, I’m kind of an expert with hair and makeup. Let’s just find a convenience store and I’ll pick us up some stuff. Ooh, turn here!”  


Lisa turned off an exit that promised cheap lodging.  
~~~~  
An hour later, they had a room booked at the Days Inn Concord. Lisa laid back on the queen sized bed while Rachel unpacked one of the bags full of things from the nearest convenience store.  


“Scissors, bleach, hair dye, glasses, makeup, hats...I think this is good. At least to start with. If we can find a thrift store, we can get some new clothes. The pizza should be here soon.”  


Lisa stretched, enjoying the feeling of the clean sheets on her skin. “They have a free breakfast spread tomorrow. We should hit it up before we leave.”  


Rachel smiled at Lisa.  


“I wish we could have gone to New Mexico. I know that’s your dream.”  


Lisa grinned back at her. “Maybe in a few months. My sister could help us get flight tickets. Or maybe we could go to Mexico. Think of how sunny it is there.”  


Rachel compared the two different shades of hair dye they had found in the “Hair Care” aisle of the convenience store. “Should I do light brown or red? Which one do you like?”  


“Red.”  


Rachel squinted at both of the boxes. “Yeah, red is better. And then I don’t have to bleach it as much. Are you going to dye your hair?”  


“I’ll cut it and add some highlights. But I’m going to nap first.”  


Lisa woke up about two hours later to the sound of scissor blades.  


“Rachel?”  


Rachel was standing in the bathroom cutting her hair. The right half of it barely touched the top of her ear. Her hair was now a dark red, almost brown, although Lisa suspected it would look lighter when it dried.  


“Are you sure you want it that short, Rach?”  


“He liked it long,” Rachel said softly.  


“Do you mean--” Lisa forced herself to say it. “Doug?”  


“He liked to stroke my hair. Sometimes he’d smell it.”  


Lisa carefully put a hand on Rachel's shoulder. “He’s not here. I am.”  


“He said he was the only one who could protect me.” Now Rachel reached up and rubbed her throat. “I don’t ever want to see him again.” She cut off another lock of hair.  


“I’ve always wanted a haircut like this.” She chuckled. “People will know I’m a lesbian now, I guess.”  


Lisa smiled. “You want to go for the butch-femme look? I can dig that. Let me help you even it out.”  


Rachel put her hand over Lisa’s, closing her eyes for a moment before passing her the scissors.  
After finishing Rachel’s hair, Lisa brushed out her own and sat quietly while Rachel trimmed it and gave her some highlights.  


“Not bad. I’ve never done this with bleach before, just that dye that washes right out, but you still look good. Of course, you’d look good bald.”  


“Thanks.” Lisa giggled, grabbing another slice of pizza. “You know, this is kind of fun. We should go on more road trips, once we get to Canada.”  


Rachel carefully washed the last of the bleach out of Lisa’s hair. “We could get a dog to travel with us. And a nice tent, so we could camp and see the stars.”  


“We’re going to do it, Rachel. I promise. We’re getting out of here.”  


They kissed, and it was the kind of kiss that two people with a future share. The kind of kiss that neither Rachel nor Lisa had expected to have with someone.  
~~~~~  


“There’s something nice about hotel breakfasts.” Rachel said the next morning, eating another spoonful of blueberry yogurt. “Have you tried the coffee?”  


Lisa shook her head. “I’m going to get some to go. You keep glancing over your shoulder, Rach. Is anyone watching us? ”  


Rachel shook her head as if to clear it. “I keep getting the feeling that someone is watching us. It’s silly. I’d see Doug if he was here.”  


Lisa squeezed Rachel’s hand. “Why don’t you pull the car around and I’ll pack us up? We can check out and be on our way in a few minutes.”  


Rachel nodded. “Good idea.”  


The car was low on gas, Rachel noticed. They should refill it before they got out on the road again. She was thinking of what else they needed to do _check the tire pressure, get a burner phone, plan for the next tollbooth_ when she unlocked their motel room door.  


“Rachel.”  


Icy fear washed over her, so powerful she had to fight the urge to run, run, run away as fast as she could. Doug Stamper was sitting on the bed where she had slept with Lisa the night before.


	3. The Dog Bites Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doug gets what's coming to him. Trigger warning for stalking and violence.

“Doug.”  


He stared at her with wide, unblinking eyes. “You shouldn’t have left. I didn’t want you to leave.”  


“Where is Lisa?”  


“I don’t know. And I don’t care. What I care about is that you left, after I told you to stay.”  


“I’m not yours, Doug. You don’t own me.”  


“Why are you so ungrateful?” His face was emotionless, just like it always was. The way it was when he choked her, or when he threatened Lisa. “I saved you. You would be nothing without me.”  


“I traded one cage for another.” She drew a deep, shuddering breath. “Let us go, Doug. I’m not going back with you. I want you out of my life.”  


Doug was moving towards her.  


“Stay away from me.”  


“You don’t have a choice in this, Rachel.”  


She hated the way he said her name. He made it sound like she was his dog, like he could yank her chain and cut off her air supply and she’d heel. Rachel squeezed the keys in her hand. Not today. Not this time.  


“My car is outside. I’ll give you five minutes to pack.”  


“I’m not going.”  


Doug caressed her face, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. Rachel held back a shudder.  
“Why did you cut your hair? You know how I liked it.”  
Now. She punched him hard, aiming for his eyes. Her keys slashed two lines across his face and he reeled backwards. She kicked out, hitting his knee, and then his groin. With a roar, he lunged for her, and she struck out again, trying to remember the self defense classes she had taken back when she was just another girl in high school and didn’t know what fear was. Doug grabbed her wrist and twisted hard, but she didn’t feel any pain, just adrenaline as she brought her other hand up and slammed her palm into his ear.  


“You can’t win this.” He was panting. “You’re coming with me.”  


The bathroom door swung open and Lisa cracked Doug on the back of the head with what looked like the shower curtain rod. He turned halfway around, reaching for her, and Rachel used her elbow to hit him in what she hoped was the same spot. Doug wobbled, and then hit the hotel carpet with a thud. There was a moment of complete silence, and then Rachel bolted across the room and embraced Lisa.  


“You’re okay. Oh God, Lisa. I didn’t know...I thought...”  


Lisa hugged Rachel back, dropping the shower rod with a muted clank.  


“I was in the bathroom when I heard the door open. I saw him and managed to lock the door without him noticing. It took me forever to get the shower rod down. He’s alive, by the way. I can see his chest moving.” Both women were thinking about when “Peter” helped Lisa fix her car and came into their apartment. He wove into their tiny corner of the universe then too, and shattered it.  
Rachel grabbed a pillow off the bed and yanked the pillowcase off. “We don’t have long. Tie his ankles.”  


“We can’t just leave him here!”  
“What else can we do? Let’s just go, now.”  


“They’ll find us.”  


Rachel stuffed a wad of paper towels in Doug’s mouth. “We can take him with us. Leave him on the side of the road somewhere.”  


“Do you hear yourself?”  


“You’re right. Holy fuck, this is crazy.”  


Lisa stepped over Doug’s unconscious body and took Rachel’s hand. “How does your wrist feel?” Rachel looked down and winced. In the brief time that had passed since Doug had grabbed her, her wrist had swollen rapidly and begun to throb. She was going to have some serious bruises.  


“I don’t think it’s broken.”  


“We’ll get some aspirin or something. Maybe we can swipe some ice from the hotel machine.”  


“I love you, Lisa." Rachel felt the words falling out of her mouth, because suddenly it was the most important thing in the world that Lisa knew that. "I want you to know that. I love you so much.”  
A shrill alarm brought them back to reality. Both women jumped and looked down at Doug’s unconscious body. Rachel dropped to her knees and reached into his breast pocket.  


“Someone’s calling.” She paused. “It’s the vice president.” 

Rachel hit "accept call" and raised the phone to her ear.


	4. Listen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel takes a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thank you to everyone who left kudos and reviews. This story is my baby and I'm so happy you all enjoy it as well!

“Doug, where have you been? Don’t you know what’s at stake here?”  


“I’m not Doug.” Rachel spoke quickly, raising her finger to her lips, and Lisa nodded. “My name is Rachel. Your hired goon has been stalking me for months.”  


“Now, I know Doug has been visiting you in the apartment he bought you from time to time to make sure you’ve been settling in nicely. I wouldn’t call that stalking.”  


“He threatened to kill my girlfriend, tried to choke me and showed up at my apartment every other day. He’s fucking obsessed with me. I know what stalking is.”  


“What do you want from me, Rachel?” The vice president’s Southern accent was overpowering. Rachel thought back to the news story about the water tower shaped like a peach in the vice president’s home district and had to fight back a hysterical giggle, forcing her voice to remain steady.  


“Keep your attack dog away from me.”  


“You must understand, this wasn’t an order from my office--”  


“I don’t want to blackmail you or your administration. I’m sure you have plans for 2020, and I’m not trying to upend them. What damage could I do, anyway? That journalist who followed me around is dead. So is Congressman Russo. No one else knows about me. I’m not going to report Doug unless he comes near me again. And even if I did, who would believe me? You’re the vice president, I’m a former call girl who refused to testify against her father. There’s plenty of dirt you could dig up, and I have no interest in being a national tabloid sensation. I promise, this is the last you are ever going to hear from me.”  


There was a pause on the other end. “I don’t make bargains with people who have information like this.”  


“I’m not bargaining with you.” Lisa was stuffing their leftover pizza and bagels into the flimsy plastic convenience store bag. She caught Rachel’s eye and tilted her head towards the door. Rachel nodded.  


“Mr. Vice President, I don’t know what your secrets are, and I don’t care to know them. I have no political ambitions or desire to see your plans for the future dashed. All I want is my life. And I’ve earned it.”  


Rachel hit “end call” and dropped Doug’s phone next to his unconscious body. “Let’s go. We’ll be over the border by the end of today if we hurry.”  
Lisa was staring at Rachel. “You just hung up on the vice president.”  


“Fuck him. Come on.”  


Traffic was light, once they got on the main highways.  


After an hour, Lisa insisted on pulling over, despite Rachel’s protests. She bought a small bottle of ibuprofen, an icepack and a wrist brace.  


“I’m worried it might be broken, Rach.”  


“It’s not. I used to get these sometimes from customers. This isn’t even the worst one I’ve had. They’re a piece of cake, really.”  


A shadow flickered across Lisa’s face as she pressed the ice pack to Rachel’s wrist, but she shook her head as if to clear it and pulled them back on the highway. Rachel flicked the radio on and they listened to the violin piece that was playing. As the last notes faded, Lisa turned the radio off again.  


“When you said no one would believe you...did you mean this?” She gestured to Rachel’s wrist.  


Rachel sighed. “People didn’t believe me about my dad. People didn’t believe me when I told them that a customer gave me a black eye or broke my wrist. And then when someone finally did believe me...Lisa, I knew Doug was a monster. But he listened to me and I...I just wanted someone to care. It’s stupid. Looking back on it, it seems so stupid. I’m sorry I did this to us, Lisa”  


“Hey.” Lisa covered Rachel’s hand, cold from the ice pack, with her own. “It’s not your fault. If I didn’t want to be with you right now, I wouldn’t be. Even after everything, I’m glad that this happened, that you came back. Rachel, I’m here. You’re not alone anymore.”  


Rachel pressed Lisa’s hand to her lips.  


“All of this will be worth it if we make it out together.”  


They crossed over the Canadian border in another hour.  


“We made it.” Rachel felt the tension draining from her chest as she watched the checkpoint disappear behind her. “We’re out.”  


Lisa pulled the car to the side of the road and the two women embraced, breathing in the smell of hotel shampoo and car exhaust. Lisa buried her fingers in Rachel’s short hair and Rachel pressed her face into Lisa’s flannel shirt. They were alive.


	5. Malteasers and Cream Soda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Canadian food, a college apartment and hope for the future. For a while, anyway.

Canada was different from America. Not in huge ways--there weren't rivers of maple syrup--but small details, like the road signs in French and English and gas stations offered types of candy that neither woman had ever heard of. Rachel bought them a huge bag of Malteasers, and they both crunched on them as they drove up the highway. The drive felt faster, the roads smoother, and both women breathed easier. Every mile that they drove was a mile further away from Doug Stamper.  


“Tell me more about your sister,” Rachel said, taking a swig of her cream soda.  


“Ava’s my best friend. She’s really the only family I’ve got left. When my parents kicked me out, after they found out about me and my roommate, I was a mess. Ava brought me stuff from our house--you know, my bible, some photos of us and our family dog-- and sometimes she’d send me money for food and rent.”  


Rachel squeezed Lisa’s hand. “Have you called her? We could stop at a pay phone. Or pick up a pay as you go at the next rest stop.”  


Lisa sighed. “I want to. But I don’t know what I’d say.”  


Rachel nodded. “I suppose we should figure out an explanation for why we both showed up at her apartment. I can tell her I was a call girl in DC and a former customer of mine went off the deep end and tried to kill me. We met when I was trying to get away from it in Joppa and then he showed up again at our apartment. It’ll explain this--” she held up her wrist-- “and the marks on my throat. And you suggested we come up here to get away from him.”  


“It’s almost the truth.”  


“Those are the best stories. The ones with the most truth.”  


Lisa ate another Malteaser. “These are really good. Why don’t we have these in America?”  


“The soda’s good too. The air is nicer here too. Fresher.”  


They looked at each other, and Rachel felt herself smiling, the way she had been smiling ever since they crossed the border.  


“I still can’t believe it. That we’re here. And together. And I don’t have to see his face again.”  


“You’re stuck with me now.” Their hands met in the Maltesers bag.  
~~~~  
Ava’s apartment building was nice for college living. It reminded Rachel of her Dupont Circle apartment--tall and clean looking without being pretentious. The entryway smelled like a combination of the maple tree Rachel remembered climbing in her backyard when she was younger and the pine tree air fresheners that people put in their cars. Unfortunately, the elevator was out of order, so they had to take the stairs up to the fifth floor.  


“What’s your sister’s apartment number?” panted Rachel.  


“I think it’s 507B.”  
It wasn’t. But the somewhat bemused college senior was nice enough to point them towards the right door.  
Lisa knocked, and the door swung open almost instantly.  


“Steve, I really have to--” The woman stopped, staring at Lisa like she was an apparition. “Bambi?”  


“Hey, Thumper. Sorry for the short notice, but we didn’t have much time to--” Lisa was cut off as her sister embraced her.  


“Don’t ever apologize for visiting, you dork. Oh my god, you’re so skinny. Have you been eating?”  
Rachel could see the resemblance between the sisters. Ava was shorter and curvier than Lisa, and her hair was lighter, almost blonde. But they had the same freckles and Ava had the same smile as her sister, the kind of smile that put you at ease.  


“Come in! My boyfriend made me a coffee cake, and it’s to die for. I’ll make us a fresh pot of tea, too.” She offered her hand to Rachel. “Nice to meet you. You’re the first girl Lisa’s brought to meet me, so it must be serious. Tell me, has she proposed yet? Busted out the U-Haul?”  


Lisa blushed. “Knock it off, Thumper.”  
Ava’s apartment was tiny, but cheerfully furnished. Rachel and Lisa sat down at the bright yellow kitchen table while Ava put a pot of coffee on to boil.  


“The bedroom’s a mess, unfortunately. But I have a foldout couch I can set you up on.”  


Ava sank down into the third mismatched kitchen chair. “I just got the couch. Took me three paychecks, but I wanted to have a place for friends to stay over. Steve helped me carry it up the stairs. But enough about me. What are you two doing here? It’s not that I’m not thrilled to see you, but it’s quite a drive and there’s got to be a good story here. Spill.”  


Rachel and Lisa looked at each other for a long moment, and then Rachel began, shredding her piece of coffee cake into crumbs.  


“I was a call girl in DC...”  


They talked for the better part of an hour, laying out Rachel’s customer, their growing relationship, the “customer’s” reappearance, and the whirlwind road trip across the country. When they finally finished, Ava, who had been silent, only nodding occasionally and taking contemplative bites of her cake, finally spoke.  


“So this is the whole story?”  


“No.” Rachel said. “This is what I can tell you. It’s as close to the truth as I can get it without being dangerous.”  


“Are you two fans of Scandal? Because that's what this sounds like.”  


Lisa laughed. “I thought the same thing when Rachel told me. And yes, I’m a Gladiator. But it’s real.”  


Ava took a long sip of her tea. “Okay. I’m worried. About this man. And whatever you’re not telling me. Because I know it’s big.”  
She stood, dusting off her jeans. “I have work in an hour. You two should get some rest, but listen to me. You need to make some longer term plans. Think about applying for citizenship here, or at least get a temporary visa. It would open you up some opportunities for jobs and housing here. Of course you can stay with me, but you’re not going to want to be on that couch forever. I want you two to be safe, but you're going to have to let me help you.”  


“Thank you.” It was Rachel who spoke. She pushed her chair back and then wrapped her arms around Ava. Ava made a small noise of surprise and then hugged Rachel back.  
~~~~  
Neither woman expected to sleep, but the couch was surprisingly comfortable. Rachel woke up with Lisa’s hair in her face. It should have annoyed her, but it just made her happy. As she set the coffee pot up to make a fresh pot, she heard Lisa turn the TV on in the other room. She cut them both slices of coffee cake and poured two cups of coffee.  


“How’d you sleep?”  


Lisa was staring at the television screen. “Rach, I think we might have a problem.”  


Rachel followed her gaze to the screen. Francis Underwood was standing at a podium, his wife holding a Bible, smugly taking the oath of office.


	6. Diplomatic Immunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, how long has it been since I updated this? Too long. It's been a difficult few months, but I missed writing about my girls. I'd like to finish this in time for HOC's fifth season, which rapidly approaches and promises to be a doozy.  
> In this chapter, Rachel and Lisa plan for the future, which seems more shaky than ever.

Rachel sunk down next to Lisa on the couch. “My God. How did this happen?”  


“They said there was a money laundering scandal. I was following it, but I didn’t think the president would actually resign. That’s...”  


Rachel finished her thought. “Unthinkable.”  


“And now he's going to be president. God, we can’t go back, can we? At least not until 2016. Or 2020. Ava’s right. We should apply for citizenship here.”  
Rachel turned the television off. “If we’re going to be staying here, we should get a place to live. And jobs. Do you think we could withdraw money from our bank accounts, or would Doug be tracing them?”  


“I don’t know. I’m worried about Ava too. What if they try to get her arrested or take away her scholarship? She’s still an American citizen.”  


“I hadn’t even thought of that.”  


The two women sat in silence. After a long moment, Lisa resisted her her head on Rachel’s shoulder. “I just want this to be over. Is that really too much to ask?”  


Rachel stroked Lisa’s hair, closing her eyes. “We’re together. We’re away from him. It could be worse. It can always be worse.”  


Lisa turned to look at Rachel. “You know, we drove by a church when we were coming in here. Do you want to walk down there?”  


“Yeah."  
~~~~~~~  
The walk to the Christ Church Cathedral only took fifteen minutes. The stone building curved gracefully off the ground, a solid presence among the shiny skyscrapers. Inside was empty, silent. Their footsteps echoed on the floor.  


“It’s different from the fellowship,” Rachel whispered.  


Lisa laughed softly. “That’s true. I doubt there’s a snack table in the back. It’s gorgeous, though.”  


Rachel pulled down the kneeler and rested her head on her folded hands. Lisa knelt next to her, their arms brushing, humming softly.  


“You were looking over your shoulder when we were walking to church.”  


Rachel didn’t look up. “Was I?”  


“He’s not here, you know.”  


“I keep thinking he is. I almost punched that guy who bumped into you when we walked by the that fancy restaurant.”  


Lisa put her hand on Rachel’s back. “It’s okay to not be okay.”  


Rachel pressed her forehead harder into her hands. Her shoulders shook. “I wish he was dead. I hate that. I hate that those thoughts are in my head.”  


They stayed in the church for a while, Lisa keeping a hand on Rachel’s back, both of them praying. Lisa breathed in the smell of incense and wine. The church was so large, she thought. It had its own air currents. If she squinted, the flickering lights from the stained glass windows looked like birds flying around the intricate, arching ceiling.  
~~~~~~~  
Ava brought home a paper bag speckled with grease stains and smelling like heaven.  


“I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I just bought hamburgers and fries. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Canadian burgers. ”  


They sat around the table to eat, and Ava flicked on the TV.  


“President Underwood has revoked former businessman's Xander Feng’s diplomatic immunity, a decision criticized by some of his fellow Democrats as compromising the integrity of the state department--”  


Lisa snatched the remote out of Ava’s hands and punched the off button.  


“Wow, Bambi. What’s eating you?”  


Lisa glanced at Rachel, and then shrugged.  


“I’m just...sick of hearing about this scandal. And Underwood is a creep. I can’t stand him.”  


Ava stared at Lisa like she’d grown a second head. “Since when do you follow politics?”  


“You can’t live in Maryland and not pick stuff up.”  


“Okay.” Ava looked from Rachel to Lisa. “Fine. No problem. Let me tell you about the bioengineering class I’m taking.”  


The mood lightened as Ava detailed the finer points of her incredibly complex and surprisingly interesting class. After dinner however, as Ava mixed powdered hot chocolate into three mugs, she returned to the subject.  


“Was Underwood the one stalking you, Rachel?”  


Rachel started. “No, of course not!”  


“What about anyone on his staff? Or someone in his family?”  


Rachel stared at the salt grains on the table. Lisa chimed in.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  


“If that’s how you want to do this.”  


Rachel cleared her throat. “We wanted to apply for citizenship. And, Ava, do you know somewhere a little cheaper than the city we could stay?”  


Ava gave Rachel a long, appraising look, and then nodded. “Yeah. Of course. Let’s get to work.”


	7. Raining down on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel and Lisa plan the next leg of their journey and find some new opportunities.

Rachel and Lisa stayed in Montreal for a month. Most of it was spent filling out paperwork and studying for the Canadian citizenship test. Ava brought home a stack of maps a week before the end of October, and Rachel and Lisa poured over them late at night in the campus library, eventually deciding to travel to Mont Tremblant. It was an hour away from Ava’s apartment, close enough for them to visit if they needed to, but hopefully far enough away that she’d be away from any trouble that might follow them. And it was beautiful. There were mountains and hiking trails and ski slopes, although neither of them knew how to ski. 

They left on a chilly November morning, three days after paperwork came in the mail for them that confirmed that they were officially citizens of Canada. Ava hugged them goodbye and slipped a roll of Canadian dollars into Lisa’s pocket as Rachel loaded the passenger seat of the car with the two duffel bags full of clothes from the thrift store near Ava’s apartment building.  


“This isn’t goodbye, Bambi. Call me tonight, okay?”  


“Okay. Ava, I can't thank you enough for everything--”  


Ava took her sister’s face in her hands.  
“Just don’t disappear on me again.”  


Lisa was crying. “Love you, Thumper.”  
~~~~  
The plan that Lisa and Rachel had mapped out allowed them the afternoon to look for jobs and groceries. They’d sleep in their car, rather than splurge on a motel room, and spruce up for job interviews in the gas station, if they needed to. However, neither of them wanted to sleep in the car after nearly seven hours of driving hell.  


“We could find a cheap motel.” Lisa drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. “It would just be one night.”  


Rachel stifled a yawn. “You don’t have to convince me.”  


“You’re supposed to argue. We need to save money.”  


“Lisa, we haven’t had a room to ourselves in almost a month. I’m not going to try to convince you to not get us a bed.”  


Lisa glanced over at Rachel, and the smirk on her face evaporated Lisa’s reluctance.  


“It would only be one night, I guess.”  


A few minutes off the road the girls found a tiny town. Rachel tapped on the window.  


“Go left. Next to the convenience store.”  


The motel was small, but tidy-looking. Lisa parked carefully in the freshly painted driveway and they climbed out. Rachel stretched, groaning softly.  


“I feel like a new person.”  
The man behind the front desk gave them a faint smile as he handed them the key to room 105.  
It was close to their car, so it took only a few minutes for the women to grab their bags and get inside. A light drizzle was falling, and Lisa shivered.  


“It’s so much colder up here then it is in Joppa.”  


Rachel dropped her duffel bag on the double bed. “Let’s take a hot shower. It’ll warm you right up.”  


Lisa looked over at Rachel, who was smiling and unbuttoning her shirt.  


“It’ll be a hot shower no matter what, if you’re in it.”  


Rachel groaned. “Wow. That was bad.”  


Lisa raised an eyebrow. “I’ve got more where that came from.”  


“Show me.”  


After their shower, they stumbled out of the bathroom and collapsed on the bright red bedspread, hands in each other’s hair, gasping into each other’s mouths. After going so long without touching each other, the contact was electric. Even though they were both exhausted from the long drive, it was past midnight when they finally fell asleep.  
~~~~~~  


The next morning they went to the diner across the street to get breakfast. It was still dark out, which gave their meal an eerie feeling.  


“Should I return the room key, do you think? We’re going to need a place to to stay tonight.”  


Rachel stirred her coffee, her dark eyebrows furrowed.  


“I don’t know. We could crash in the car for a few nights while we try to pin down a more permanent place. It’s not a great idea to keep dropping so much on a motel room when we don’t know how long it’ll take to get an apartment.”  


Rachel swiped a bite of pancake off of Lisa’s plate. Lisa couldn’t help but laugh.  


“You said you didn’t want pancakes.”  


“I didn’t. But they looked really good when you got them.”  


They grinned at each other. Lisa remembered how giddy she was after she and Rachel first kissed back in Joppa. She’d stared at the ceiling all night, Rachel’s arm draped around her, breathing in the scent of her hair. It felt the same way for her now, looking at Rachel across the table.  


“You’re looking at me funny, Lisa.”  


“I just...I’m happy. To be with you.”  


Rachel didn’t say anything, but she reached across the table again, this time intertwining her fingers with Lisa’s. They sat there, and for a long moment, it was as if the rest of the world had suddenly fallen silent, and it was only them, together. The diner’s fluorescent lights flickered outside, a sharp pink-and-orange contrast to the shadowy early morning. Everything on the table between them seemed to be outlined with a faint glow, elevated to a higher level of existence.  


“More coffee?”  


The spell was broken. Rachel ordered a second cup while Lisa came to a conclusion.  


“I’ll return the key after we’re done with breakfast. You used to work as a waitress, right? Maybe they’re hiring here. And we can drive around and look for other places that are hiring. This is a tourist town, and it’s getting to be ski season. We should be able to get jobs soon.”  


Rachel nodded. “You’re right. We’ve both slept in cars before, anyway.”  
~~~~  
The same man from before was at the front desk.  


“Only here for one night?”  


Lisa nodded, trying to smile politely without being inviting.  


“I hope you enjoyed your stay.”  


“It was lovely. Very clean.”  


“People never expect motels to be clean, especially if they’re not big chains. But my husband and I want our customers to have a great experience. We built this place from the ground up. It’s a family business”  
Lisa couldn’t help but glance up at the word “husband.” He noticed. After a while, communities develop their own silent language. She remembered plenty of conversations at the Fellowship that had begun in similar ways.  


“You know, we’re hiring for this season, if you’re looking for work. I don’t mean to pry but...” He swallowed, running a hand through his dark hair. “I know what it looks like when someone is running away from something.”  


“What kind of job are you looking for?”  


The man reached under the desk and pulled out a packet. “Someone to manage paperwork and staff the front desk--handle customer complaints, make sure the vending machine is restocked and whatnot. We might also need help with cleaning and odd jobs. It would be a lot of work, but we’d pay well. If you want--” He hesitated for a moment, and then pushed on, sliding the packet across the desk. “I can give you a discount for the room you stayed in tonight if you want to stay there until you’ve got a more permanent place.”  


Lisa fought the urge to pinch herself. “Thank you. Thank you so much I’ll talk to my, um, friend about it and we’ll get back to you by the end of the day.”  


They shook hands, and she hurried to tell Rachel.


	8. Nightmares and Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel has a nightmare. Lisa helps.

The futon they slept on was shaking. Lisa sat up, pressing her hands hard into her eyes, trying to push the last traces of sleep out of her foggy brain. It wasn’t the bed. It was Rachel. Rachel was thrashing, her face twisted into a grimace, tears streaking down her face. Lisa grabbed her shoulders.

“Rach! Rach, honey, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.” 

Rachel made a noise that was something between a scream and a sob. One of her hands flailed out, almost breaking Lisa’s nose. Lisa caught her wrist, trying to be gentle. 

“Rachel, it’s me.” 

Rachel’s eyes flickered open and she drew in a shuddering breath. “Lisa.” She pressed her face into Lisa’s shoulder. Lisa could feel tears soaking through her thin shirt, and she pulled Rachel closer to her, rubbing circles into the other woman’s back until Rachel pulled back. 

“Were you dreaming about...you know...him?” 

“Doug?” 

Lisa hated saying his name. “Yeah.” 

“Partly. Some combination of him, and my dad, and some of my old customers.” Rachel ran a hand through her hair, gripping her head like she was trying to keep herself from falling apart. “I was in a warehouse, or a basement, and I was running and running, opening and closing all these doors, trying to get away from him. His voice was so gentle, he kept talking about how he was sorry, he didn’t mean it, he just wanted to protect me, but I knew he was going to hurt me if he caught me, so I just kept running. And then he grabbed me, and his hands were over my mouth and suddenly you were there, and he...he shot you in the head, and I was screaming but no one could hear me.” 

Rachel punched the mattress, swiping angrily at her face. 

“Fuck, Lisa. I want to be okay. I should be okay by now. I see him fucking everywhere, I hear his voice in my fucking head.” 

Lisa wrapped her arms around Rachel again, trying to quell the white-hot rage that swelled up in her when she thought about Doug. 

“You know, you don’t have to be okay.” 

“Do you have nightmares, Lisa?” 

“I used to have them a lot. After I got kicked out of my parent’s house, I didn’t really sleep for nearly three years. Not until I found the Fellowship.” 

Lisa tried not to think too hard about those years. They were shadowed by time and the self-medication she’d used too freely, but there were still enough bad memories to keep her from ever sleeping again if she dwelled too much on them. Rachel gently wiped a tear off her face, and she realized with a start that she was crying too. 

“Wow, look at us. We’re a mess.” 

Rachel chuckled, and they both relaxed, letting the some of the darkness of the past dissipate. “What time is it?” Rachel glanced over at the clock radio by their bed and groaned. “Two in the morning. I have a shift at four. No way I’m going back to sleep.” 

“Me either.” 

“Do you want to go for a walk? It’s stopped snowing.” 

“Yeah. The moon’s still out.” 

They dressed quickly in their heavy boots and layers of sweaters and coats and crunched out the door. The apartment they’d found was in the basement of one of the fancy Victorian houses that stretched out around the town they’d driven into nearly two months ago. Behind the houses was a clutch of pine trees laced with ski slopes that seemed to stretch out for an eternity in the night. Soon, the houses were faint lights in the distance. It felt good to get away from the dark memories. In the snow-covered pine forest, nothing horrible seemed possible. 

Rachel flopped down on her back in a tiny clearing, and Lisa joined her, intertwining their gloved hands. 

“I can see Orion.” 

“I see the Seven Sisters.” 

“Little Dipper.” 

“Big Dipper.” 

There was a rustling noise as Rachel turned her head in the snow, and Lisa met her eyes. 

“Doubt that the stars are fire.” Rachel said slowly. Her dark eyes were fixed on Lisa. “Doubt that the earth doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar. But never doubt I love.” 

Lisa wasn’t going to cry again. She wasn’t. “What’s that from?” 

“Hamlet. It was my favorite play in high school, before I dropped out. I saw someone reading it at the diner today and I remembered that line.” 

“It’s beautiful.” 

“You’re beautiful.” Rachel leaned in to kiss her and Lisa moved closer, their shared breath melting the snow, their noses bumping before their lips finally met. They kissed slowly, gently, their arms around each other. When they pulled apart, Lisa was grinning. 

“That’s one way to stay warm.” 

“I wish we could live out here. I’d build us a cabin. We could have the bedroom right here, and then a kitchen over there with a view of that mountain, and a big porch and--” 

“--a hot tub.” LIsa interjected. “Over there. On weekends, we could fire it up and look up at the stars, with hot chocolate.” 

“That sounds amazing. Could we get a dog? I’ve always wanted a black Lab.” 

“Absolutely. What would we name her? Or him.” 

“Her. And for the name, I was thinking...Diana?” 

“Perfect.” 

They held each other in the snow, painting pictures with words, until the sky turned grey.


	9. Lady Di

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel and Lisa make new friends and put down roots in Canada.

They had different names, now--Rachel was Cassie, Lisa was Naomi. Ava had helped them get papers during the chaotic month they lived on her couch. Max--the owner of the Moonlight Drive Motel--knew that these weren’t their original names, but he didn’t pry too much, something Lisa was eternally grateful for. 

It was easy to develop a routine, and time passed with a comforting steadiness. Rachel worked two jobs--waitressing at the diner where they had eaten on their first day in town and working night shifts at the counter of a gas station. She often got free leftovers from the diner, which helped keep their food budget down. 

Lisa, meanwhile found herself slowly falling in love with the motel with each busy day she spent there. There was always some kind of emergency that needed to be dealt with and it kept her thinking on her feet. She remembered Rachel telling her about the hundreds of calls she made for the center she worked at in Joppa. 

“Do you ever just want to talk to them?” 

Anyone else would have looked at her like she was bonkers, but Rachel had smiled like Lisa was the first person to really see her. Sometimes, when they lay in bed together during the hot Maryland summer days, Rachel would tell her about the snippets of people’s lives she heard--dogs barking, children crying, glasses clinking. And now, working at the Moonlight Drive, she came home with stories too. Once, she helped a young mother from British Columbia find her daughter’s toy lamb. They returned the raggedy stuffed animal to the little girl, and she shyly came by the desk where Lisa worked an hour later with a thank you card scribbled in crayon. She brought it home and hung it on their fridge. 

Another day, she lit cigarettes for an odd couple from New Mexico--a skinny guy and a really pretty older woman-- who told her about the Jimenez Trail and the Four Corners monument. They wound up talking for hours, even joining her and Rachel for drinks that evening. Several weeks later, they got a postcard with a picture of the desert at sunset that joined the thank-you card on their fridge. Lisa liked to look at them as she had her morning coffee. 

~~~ 

Rachel came home in May with flyers for a Fellowship a half-hour drive away from their apartment. They made time to go every week, splurging for new songbooks. It was smaller than the one in Joppa, but the people there were as welcoming. 

It was driving home from a fellowship meeting when they found the third member of their family. Rachel had almost driven the car off the the road, and Lisa swore, which she’d been trying to stop doing. 

“Rachel, what the fuck?” 

Rachel was already throwing the door open and sprinting out into the middle of the street, and Lisa followed, any other words of anger dying in her throat because there was a dog. The dog seemed to be a black Lab mix, large and sleek with floppy ears. And she was hurt--her leg was bent and swollen. 

“I’m sorry, Lisa. I saw it just in time.” 

“Don’t worry. I have some towels in the back of the car. Let’s get the dog on one of them and we can go to the emergency veterinarian.” 

The dog whimpered, but was surprisingly easy to maneuver onto the backseat, giving them a trusting stare with with overwhelmingly gentle brown eyes. Rachel sat in the back, stroking its ears, as Lisa drove them to the vet. 

They wound up spending their food budget for a month on bills for a cast and cone collar, plus a big bag of kibble and some dog toys. 

“It’s good for us to have a guard dog.” Lisa had rationalized while they drove home, and Rachel had laughed. 

“Sure. Let’s go with that.” 

Diana, or Lady Di, as she soon came to be called, was not a great guard dog, although she did growl quite menacingly at squirrels and birds. Even after her leg healed, she always had a bit of a limp. She successfully charmed their landlady and the house’s other tenants, and both women felt safer with her in the house and a orange and black “Beware of Dog” sign in their window. Lisa knew that a dog wouldn’t keep their monsters at bay, but seeing Rachel going for her morning jog with a large shadowy beast at her heels eased a tight knot of fear in her chest she hadn’t even been aware of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who's gotten #wrecked by season five? I promise, there are no spoilers here yet. All I'll say is "ouch."  
> If you thought the motel visitors from New Mexico seemed kind of familiar, I might be writing an aside about that later on. I know this chapter was mostly fluff, but there is an actual plot here, I promise. I just needed to write some of my girls being happy.


	10. Following the News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel and Lisa dodge ghosts and try to make plans, even as things seem more uncertain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone who left kudos and reviews. I love you guys and I can't thank you enough for reading this story and sharing your thoughts. Your words mean a lot to me. <3  
> FYI, here's a little bit of sexual content near the end of the chapter, in case anyone's uncomfortable with that.

A week after they brought home Lady Di, Frank Underwood announced he wouldn’t seek reelection. Ava called Lisa minutes after his address. 

“Bambi, this is good. Once he’s out, any chances of someone from his administration showing up are pretty much nil. A new president gets sworn in, and you can put this behind you.” 

“I don’t know. He’s always going to be dangerous.” 

“Sure. But ex-presidents don’t have the CIA at their command. And if he’s not running for reelection, he won’t be nearly as concerned with loose ends. Buy some champagne. Put on some music. Ding dong, the demon's dead.” 

They didn’t get champagne--their food budget was threadbare enough as it was--but Rachel did bring home a three-day old chocolate cake from the diner the next day, along with some old bones for Lady Di. Lisa lit some candles and they ate the cake while watching CNN dissect the meaning behind the speech. 

Rachel started following the news on the diner’s television, feeling a pinch of relief in her stomach whenever she saw a report that Underwood’s program was faltering. Doug Stamper continued to be almost a nonentity. 

Spring stretched into summer, and Rachel and Lisa were happy. They went for long hikes during the extra hours of daylight, or watched stupid movies and made love on the futon, their blankets a pile on the floor and Lady Di’s tail thumping nearby. Sometimes, they’d just drive to somewhere beautiful, lie on the car’s hood, and listen to music. They’d share the one good pair of earbuds and try to see who could find the most shapes in the clouds. 

Things weren’t perfect. Rachel still had nightmares, although they grew fewer and further between as time passed. On some days, Lisa came home from work with shaky hands and lay down on the floor, eyes tightly closed, until Rachel returned from her shift and forced her to eat something, rubbing the tension from her neck or squeezing her hand until Lisa felt her feet touch the earth again. 

~~~~ 

And then Doug Stamper was re-hired as President Underwood’s Chief of Staff. The day the news broke, Rachel bought a bottle of rum and they walked out to the place where they built an imaginary house and passed it back and forth. It’s cold, but neither of them care. 

“We should run,” Rachel said after half of the bottle was gone. “He’s going to find us.” 

Lisa rested her head on Rachel’s shoulder and said nothing. 

“People like him never stop looking, once they have someone in their sights.” Rachel stroked Lisa’s hair. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into this mess.” 

“Cassie. Rachel. Whoever.” Lisa heard herself giggling and realized she was drunk. “We’ve been over this. I want to be here. Do you think I’d be happy living with my horrible roommate in Joppa, thinking you never loved me? If some crazy shit does happen, rest assured, I’d rather be in it with you than on my own somewhere.” She looked up at Rachel. “This isn’t your fault, okay?” 

Rachel had given her a half smile. “You’re cute when you’re drunk.” 

“Really? Well, I’m about to get adorable.” Lisa grabbed for the bottle, nearly falling into Rachel’s lap. “You know, he might not even win. Maybe the rest of the world will see him for the monster he is.” 

“Oh, he’ll win.” 

“How do you know?” 

“He was willing to ruin the life of a recovering alcoholic. His chief of staff threatened your life, and I’m pretty sure he was planning on killing me too. And that journalist who ended up dead...” 

“Do you think he’s a murderer?” 

“No. Maybe.” Rachel took the bottle back, but didn’t drink, just stared blankly up at the tree branches. “Can we talk about something else?” 

“Sure. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” 

“Fiji.” 

“Do you ever want me to go somewhere we could actually go, or are all your bucket list locations impossible?” 

“It’s a fantasy game. I don’t have to be practical.” They’d played this game so many times that the banter felt like slipping into bed after a long day “ Where would you go? 

“The Area 51 museum.” 

“What is it with you and New Mexico?” 

“Okay, fine. The Nevada Space Mushroom.” 

“If you talk about the World’s Largest Ball of String, I will leave you out here.” 

“Oh, please. I have some taste.” 

“Do you want to go back to our apartment and watch the X-Files? That’s kind of like being on a road trip across America.” 

“Sure. But you have to figure out which way is home, because everything kind of looks the same to me right now.” 

They staggered home, leaning heavily on each other and laughing. 

~~~~ 

And then Frank Underwood got shot and the world shifted on its axis again. The news comes in on the diner’s TV, and murmurs of shock ripple across the room. Rachel tried to keep it together, but someone snagged Doug Stamper for an interview and as soon as she heard his voice she and had to duck outside to retch into a garbage bin. 

The Goodwin Manifesto is available online within hours, and they look at it on the crappy laptop that Ava got Lisa for Christmas. Rachel stared at her old name for a long time, and then traced the paragraph about Peter Russo, tapping the part about his death. After a few minutes, she cleared her throat and met Lisa’s eyes. “I killed him.” 

“No. You couldn’t have known.” 

“I knew who he was. I made him relapse, for a nice apartment and a job.” 

“Rachel. Don’t do this.” 

“What the fuck am I supposed to think, Lisa? He told me to get him drunk and keep him in a hotel room until the morning, and I did. I ruined his career, ruined his life, and now he’s fucking dead!” She stood up, violently shoving her chair back, and paced across their tiny apartment, Lady Di scrambling out of her way. She sank down on the futon, her head in her hands. Lisa waited a few minutes, and then walked over and sat next to her, drawing Rachel’s head down into her lap. Rachel was shaking, worse than she had when she showed up at Lisa’s apartment, and Lisa could feel her tears soaking through her jeans. She stroked Rachel’s hair and made soft comforting noises, hating Doug Stamper and President Underwood and every stupid fucking person who used people as pawns and left them broken. 

The sun set outside their window, and Rachel stilled, her breathing evening. Lisa realized she had fallen asleep and she carefully stood, shifting Rachel’s head off of her lap and onto a pillow, drawing one of their blankets over her, and pressing a kiss to her forehead. Lady Di whimpered impatiently at the door, and Lisa took her out for a quick walk, loath to leave her girlfriend for even a second. Rachel was still asleep when she got back, and, unsure what to do, Lisa boiled water for hot chocolate and heated up last night’s leftovers, roasted chicken and mashed potatoes from the diner. She knew they had to eat--she’d skipped lunch and only picked at the granola bar she had planned to eat for breakfast, and the combination of hunger and stress made her woozy. As she poured the hot chocolate into two of their mismatched mugs, she heard Rachel stirring. 

“How long was I out?” 

“Just a few hours. I didn’t want to wake you.” 

“No, it’s okay.” There were footsteps behind her, and then Rachel’s arms were around her waist, pulling her close. She put the mugs down and intertwined her fingers with Rachel’s. Rachel breathed in deeply, pressing her forehead into Lisa’s neck. 

“Naomi.” 

“Cassie.” 

“I’m scared. He's coming for us, I know he is. ” 

“If he hasn’t found us by now, maybe he just won’t be able to. I feel like we keep asking this question, Rach, and there’s no solution other than run or stay, and I want to stay. And you want to stay.” 

“I do.” She paused "I think about Russo a lot. I had almost convinced myself that what I did...wasn't what really killed him. That it was an accident, or he would have done it anyway. But it wasn't. It wasn't." 

“You didn’t kill him, Rach. Underwood did. Underwood wanted him to fail, so he did. If it wasn’t you, it would have been someone else who got him drunk.” 

“I still did it, though.” 

“Hey.” Lisa turned around in Rachel’s embrace, letting go of her hand and wrapping her arms around the other woman’s neck. “I’m here, okay? I know that doesn't undo any of this, but you’re not going to scare me away. I love you, Cassie.” 

Rachel kissed Lisa, hard, crushing their mouths together, and Lisa could taste the salt from Rachel’s tears and the cigarettes she smoked and her cherry-flavored chapstick. She ran her fingers through Rachel’s short hair, stroked the back of her neck, and Rachel sighed softly. 

“Doubt thou the stars are fire,” she murmured against Lisa’s ear, and Lisa shivered, pulling Rachel backwards towards the futon. Rachel kissed her neck, and her hands were unbuttoning Lisa’s shirt, and Lisa was pulling Rachel’s over her head. She was whispering _CassieRachelCassie_ like it was a prayer and then she couldn’t say anything, she could only gasp and fireworks exploded behind her eyelids. 

They lay next to each other afterwards, Rachel absentmindedly playing with Lisa’s hair. 

“We should keep some money saved. And a bag packed. In case we need to run.” 

“Okay. And we’re going to the Fellowship meeting tomorrow. Both of us.” 

“Okay. I love you, Lisa.” 

“I love you too.”


	11. Ski Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter comes to the town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is like 90% fluff, but there will be more plot next chapter, and hey, sometimes you need some fluff.

Ski season descended on the town of Abri. The population swelled and a sense of business imbued everything. The “No” shone next to the “Vacancy” nearly all the time at the Moonlight Drive, and room requests were booked well into December. Snow came with the season, and ice. Every morning, Rachel would wash the road salt out of Lady Di’s paws after her morning walk. Lisa did the same in the evening. Their apartment was constantly freezing--heat rose and they were on the bottom floor of a cavernous house. After she got back from taking Lady Di out, Lisa would crawl onto the futon, under the duvet and afghans, and slip her hands under Rachel’s shirt to warm them up, which usually led to an outbreak of pillow-related violence and more inventive ways of keeping warm. 

Lisa brought home the worn out blankets and sheets from the motel and they stuffed them in every crevice and crack, which helped with the drafts a little. Even with the sheets, though, it only took a few weeks before they splurged on a portable heater, which Lady Di insisted on curling up next to whenever possible. 

“I mean, she’s at home more than we are, so she needs it the most,” Lisa said one night, after Rachel tried futilely to shift the dog a little so they could get some of the heat. 

“We paid for it, though. If she’d like to pitch in the fifty bucks we shelled out for the damn thing then I wouldn’t complain.” It was like trying to move a bag of cement. Lady Di grunted a little, but stayed completely still, a black furry lump. “Goddamnit, Lady Di. You’re such a fucking diva.” 

Lisa couldn’t help but laugh. “Rach, it’s not a big deal.” 

Rachel curled up around Lady Di. “I’m sleeping here. We’re getting what we paid for.” 

“Okay. Fine.” Lisa stretched out next to Rachel on the floor, dragging a blanket down with her, and they slept there. 

~~~~~~ 

Things changed after the hostage crisis. The flow of American tourists noticeably declined and nearly every TV in town was tuned into the news for weeks. Every time there was an interview with Doug, Rachel and Lisa would text each other something comforting. Lisa actually had a folder of pictures of Lady Di that she would whip out whenever she heard Doug’s dead-sounding voice. 

Ava called them and asked if Hammerschmidt’s story was true. Rachel said it probably was, but she didn’t know for sure. 

The next day, Rachel brought home a copy of the Washington Herald and cut out the story, hanging it on their fridge 

Ava drove up to visit them for Christmas with Steve, who was now her fiance. Max and Carlo insisted they come to dinner at their place. It was a feast--Carlo, Lisa and Steve spent nearly the day in the kitchen. There was turkey and mince pie and stuffing. For dessert, Carlo made buñuelos and manjar blanco that went well with the Yule log cake. Max insisted on shoveling out the Moonlight Drive motel driveway, and Rachel and Ava volunteered to help, since neither were huge fans of cooking. 

“We have a system,” Max told Rachel and Ava as they scraped ice off of the car windows. “I handle motel stuff on Christian holidays, he handles it on Muslim holidays. We both enjoy the food. You have to come by some nights this Ramadan, I’ll blow your mind.” 

Dinner lasted for hours. Lady Di lay under the table, swiping the occasional tidbit out of someone’s hand. Afterwards, everyone sprawled in Max and Carlo’s cozy living room, on the worn-out leather couch or the thick green plush rug or one of the giant armchairs. Carlo picked the movie--an artsy film called _Yes & Yes_ about strangers who met in a grocery store. Rachel put her head in Lisa’s lap and watched the lights on the tree reflect on her face. 

~~~~~ 

They didn’t get home until almost midnight, their arms loaded with leftovers in tupperware containers and presents. Even though it was late, neither of them were tired--a combination of the after-dinner coffee and the excitement brought on by the holiday, so Rachel proposed a late night walk to their clearing. 

After they had flopped down into the snow, and looked up at the stars long enough to feel grounded, Lisa turned to Rachel. 

“Ready for your Christmas present?” 

“Lis, we agreed no gifts.” 

“I know you got me one.” 

Rachel paused for a long moment. “Okay, I maybe did.” 

“We know each other too well.” 

Rachel chuckled and ripped open the newspaper-wrapped package that Lisa handed her. It was a denim jacket, artfully faded in some places and dotted with iron-on patches that advertised Rachel’s favorite bands. 

“Are you serious? Oh my god, this is amazing. Where did you get the patches?” 

“There’s a music store in the town where the Fellowship is. I went the day you got sick. Look in the pocket.” 

The pockets were deep, satisfyingly so, and in the front right one was a coil of earbuds. 

“No way.” 

“I know you wanted a better pair. You can wear them when you’re on dish duty, or mopping.” 

Rachel tackled Lisa back into the snow and kissed her. Lisa laughed, trying to keep her hat on her head before giving up and letting the snow thread into her hair. 

“You’re messing up our snow angels.” 

“Seriously?” 

“I wanted to take a photo and make it my lock screen!” 

“Open my present, nerd.” 

It was wrapped in menus from the diner, taken out of their plastic shells, and so there was a faint scent of syrup and gravy as Lisa opened it. Inside was a book on little-known roadside locations in Canada. Lisa gave a yelp of excitement. 

“We’re going on a road trip this summer. A real one. That’s the other part of my present. I have some money saved, and I figure we can save more, enough for at least a week, if we sleep in the car on some nights.” 

“Rach...thank you.” 

They kissed again and walked back to their house, their gloved hands intertwined.


	12. Sugar, no cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A forgotten wallet leads to a confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sporadic updates, writers block is the #worst. I will finish this story, though, and there will be a happy ending for my kids, no matter what. It just might take a while. But it's gonna happen.

A week after the election was finally over, Rachel caught a cold. Her boss thankfully let her swap her shifts around, so she was free to curl up with Lady Di on the futon and watch old movies on her laptop. Lisa left her reluctantly, piling instant Vitamin C packets on the kitchen counter. She made Rachel promise to text every hour. 

“Lisa, I’ll remind you again that I’m perfectly capable of recovering from a cold.” 

“Didn’t you read the article last week in the paper about how parents aren’t vaccinating kids and now there are super-viruses? 

“You’re scaring me.” 

“Do you want some tea?” 

“Go to work. I’ll be fine. Maybe if I’m feeling better later, I’ll walk Lady Di over to visit you.” 

“If you do it, you need to bundle up. Take my scarf. I’ll leave it here.” 

“I love you. Go.” 

Lisa kissed Rachel’s forehead and hurried out the door. 

Rachel was almost finished with Singing in the Rain when her phone buzzed. _Hey Cass. Sorry to do this to you, but I left my wallet at home. Could you bring it over? <3 _

Rachel smiled. Lisa was always forgetting her phone, or her keys, or her wallet. At least once a week, they had to rush back home to pick up something. She always tried to lay out their things on the table for them to grab as they rushed to work, but today, Lisa wouldn’t let her get out of bed. 

Lady Di was fast asleep next to the heater, whimpering a little. The coffeemaker dinged, startling her. It was a little past noon-She poured some of it into a thermos, adding lots of sugar but no cream, just the way she liked it. The dog whimpered in her sleep and she couldn’t bring herself to wake her up, so she just tucked a blanket over her and quietly closed the door. 

Walking to the motel in winter was always tricky. The sidewalk was slippery from last night’s snow, and Rachel almost fell a few times, but managed to not spill the coffee. 

Max was at the front desk of the Moonlight Drive. 

“Cassie! How are you feeling? 

“I can’t breathe through my nose and my head is kind of spinning, but it should be mostly gone by tomorrow. But Naomi forgot her wallet, so...” 

Max laughed. “Yeah, that’s not surprising. She went out to empty the recycling bins outside, if you want to catch her.” 

“Thanks.” 

Rachel walked around to the back of the motel, the rock salt crunching under her feet. Between the wind and her cold, it felt like her eyes weren’t working right. 

“Nay, I have your wallet, and I brought you--” 

“Rachel” 

It felt like someone had sucked the air out of her lungs. Lisa was crumpled on the ground at Doug Stamper’s feet. He looked thinner, shakier. In one hand was a rag, and in the other was a gun and he was pointing the gun at Lisa’s head. Rachel had forgotten how cold his eyes were. 

She wanted to scream, but his finger was on the trigger and she knew he would pull it. “You can’t honestly think you were going to get away.” 

“Let her go.” 

“She knows too much now. It’s on you, Rachel. What happens to her is on you.” 

Rachel could taste metal at the back of her throat. She’d had so many nightmares about him hurting Lisa, about a gun to her girlfriend’s head or a knife to her throat. But she wasn’t afraid this time, she was just furious. 

“Why are you so fucking obsessed with me? I told you before. Neither of us are ever going to say anything. We don’t care. Not about you or your boss.” 

His jaw tightened and she hated him, more than she thought it was possible to hate someone. “I can’t lose control. As long as you’re out here, you’re a distraction for me.” 

She popped off the thermos lid and splashed the coffee in his eyes, hearing a faint sizzle, and then the gun was in her hands and she twisted his wrist and pulled as hard as she could. It was cold, solid, and her ears were ringing, like it had gone off. At least one bullet had hit him. 

As soon as she saw him hit the ground, she dropped to her knees by Lisa. She was bleeding. She ran her hands over Lisa’s face and arms, peeled back layers of clothes, her side was bleeding and her favorite shirt was soaked. Doug was yelling at her as she pressed her coat against Lisa’s side, the same place she’d kissed two nights ago. 

“You hurt me, Rachel, you know that? I did so much for you, and you threw it all back in my face like the ungrateful little bitch you are--” 

White hot fury surged in her and she turned to face him. She whacked him across the face with the gun and it actually shut him up. 

“Cassie! What the--” 

“Max.” Her voice was surprisingly calm. “Would you please call the police and also an ambulance?” 

“Is Naomi--” 

“Shot? I don’t know. This bastard--I knew him from before and he followed me up here.” Her voice broke and she staggered towards Doug. 

Max pulled out his phone, slipping his jacket off to cover Lisa while Rachel turned back to Doug. 

“You listen here, you fucking lunatic.” The eerie calmness was still in her voice, and she could feel tears running down her face but she wasn’t scared or sad, just angry enough to burn down the entire world. “I am not yours. I don’t care if you love me, if you need me, if my existence makes it hard for you--” Sirens were threading through the air, and she hit him again, breaking his nose. His blood splattered on the grey snow. He tried to get up, clawing at her, but his broken leg held him down. She was able to push him back easily. Max was talking to her, she could see his mouth moving, but all she could hear was a high pitched ringing. “This is my world too. Our world, and we’re not going anywhere just because you want us to. 

The ambulance pulled up, along with two police cars. Someone was wrapping a blanket around her, and she clutched Lisa’s arm as they lifted her onto a stretcher, climbing in with her and intertwining their fingers.


End file.
